1657/1 - ‘Umar ibn al-Khattāb (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The dead person is punished in his grave on account of wailing over him.”
Another narration reads: “for as long as there is wailing over him.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
To wail is to cry loudly over the death of someone and mention his good traits by way of bragging.
1) It is prohibited to wail over the dead, for this contradicts patience.
2) Wailing constitutes a kind of objection to the decree and predestination of Allah Almighty; whereas we are required to submit to His painful decrees.
This Hadīth applies to a person who condones wailing, asks his relatives to wail over him, or neglects to forbid them from wailing. So, everyone should advise his family to adhere to the Prophet’s Sunnah and guidance upon his death and to shun the Shariah prohibitions on death-related matters. A person who does so has absolved himself and is safe from the reported threat, and Allah knows best.
1658/2 - Ibn Mas‘ūd (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “He is not one of us he who slaps his cheeks, tears open his clothes, and wails in the manner of the days of ignorance.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1) It is prohibited to act like people in the pre-Islamic period of ignorance in terms of wailing and the like. These are not Islamic manners.
2) It points out the merit of patience in pursuit of divine reward at the time of afflictions and the display of contentment with the decree and predestination of Allah Almighty.
1659/3 - Abu Burdah reported: “Abu Mūsa got ill and lost his consciousness and his head was in the lap of a woman of his family. She began to wail and he could not say anything to her. Upon regaining his consciousness, he said: ‘I am innocent of that of which the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was innocent. Indeed, the Messenger of Allah disavowed the woman who wails, the woman who shaves her head upon the occurrence of a disaster, and the woman who tears her clothes.’” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
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1) Wailing, shaving the head, and tearing clothes upon the occurrence of afflictions fall under the wrong acts that we are required to criticize and forbid, as the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) disavowed those doing such things.
2) One should follow the Prophet’s example, as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) used to do.
1660/4 - Al-Mughīrah ibn Shu‘bah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) say: “He who is wailed over will be punished on the Day of Judgment on account of the wailing over him.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1) It is prohibited to wail over the death of someone, for this will be a cause of punishment on the Day of Judgment.
2) A dead person will be punished in his grave and on the Day of Judgment on account of wailing over him, if he had asked for it.
1661/5 - Umm ‘Atiyyah Nusaybah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported: “At the time of pledging allegiance to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him), he took a promise from us not to engage in wailing.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1) Wailing is one of the manners of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance, which a Muslim should get rid of as soon as he embraces Islam.
2) It describes the pledge of allegiance taken by the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) from women, as he stipulated that they should abandon the habits of the pre-Islamic era.
1662/6 - Al-Nu‘mān ibn Bashīr (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported: “‘Abdullah ibn Rawāhah (may Allah be pleased with him) fell down unconscious. His sister started crying and saying: ‘O my mountain, O so-and-so!’ She went on calling him by his good qualities one by one. When he came to his senses, he said: ‘Whenever you said something, I was asked: Are you really so?’” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri]
1) It is prohibited to wail over the dead person, for this hurts him.
2) It is prohibited to falsely ascribe certain traits to oneself or to someone else.
1663/7 - Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported: “Sa‘d ibn ‘Ubādah (may Allah be pleased with him) suffered from some illness. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) visited him and was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahmān ibn ‘Awf, Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqās, and ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ūd (may Allah be pleased with them). When they entered his house, they found him unconscious. The Messenger of Allah asked: ‘Has he died?’ They replied: ‘No, O Messenger of Allah.’ Upon this, the Messenger of Allah began to weep. When his Companions saw this, they also began to weep. He said: ‘Listen attentively: Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or for the grief of the heart, but He punishes or shows mercy because of the utterances of this,’ pointing to his tongue.” [Narrated be Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
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1) It is permissible to grieve and cry over the death of someone, yet without wailing. In fact, this stems from mutual mercy between people.
2) Showing indignation through words and wailing is a cause of punishment on the Day of Judgment.
1664/8 - Abu Mālik al-Ash‘ari (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Judgment wearing a garment of tar and a shield of scabies.” [Narrated by Muslim]
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1665/9 - Asīd ibn Abu Asīd, a Tābi‘i (from the generation that followed the Companions), reported that one of the women who gave the pledge to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Among the matters of goodness in respect of which we gave the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) the pledge not to disobey him were: that we should not scratch our faces, bewail, tear our clothes up, or dishevel our hair (in grief).”
[Narrated by Abu Dāwūd with a sound Isnād]
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1) Scratching faces, bewailing, and disheveling hair at the time of disasters are prohibited, for these are acts of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance which are forbidden under the Shariah.
2) It describes the nature of the pledge of allegiance that took place during the Prophet’s lifetime. He took the pledge from the believers that they should abandon all prohibitions and engage in good deeds to the best of their ability.
1666/10 - Abu Mūsa (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If anyone dies and the mourner gets up and says: ‘O my mountain, O my master,’ or the like, Allah will put two angels in charge of him who will beat him on the chest and ask him: ‘Were you like that?’” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan (sound)]
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1) It is prohibited to wail over the death of someone and ascribe to him such attributes that did not really exist in him.
2) The angels rebuke the dead person, if he has not previously instructed his relatives not to wail over him.
1667/11 - Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Two matters are signs of disbelief on the part of those who indulge in them: Defaming a person’s lineage and wailing over the dead.” [Narrated by Muslim]
1) It is prohibited to wail over a dead person, for this is an act of disbelief and a practice of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance.
2) A person who does an act of disbelief is not necessarily a disbeliever.
We conclude from the above Hadīths:
There is nothing wrong with natural weeping. But wailing, slapping cheeks, tearing clothes, and plucking, shaving, or disheveling hair at the time of afflictions are all prohibited and forbidden. The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) disavowed these acts, on account of which the dead person suffers torment, unless he forbids them during his lifetime and instructs his family not to engage in them.