Allah Almighty says: {And indeed you are of a great moral character.} [Al-Qalam: 4] He also says: {And those who restrain anger and pardon the people. And Allah loves the doers of good.} [Āl-‘Imrān: 134]
Good manners are to be shown towards Allah Almighty and towards His servants.
- As for good manners towards Allah, these comprise contentment with His predestined decrees and receiving them with a comforted heart without feelings of inconvenience.
- As for good manners towards people, these include two things: refraining from harming them and giving them of one’s bounty. Refraining from harming them is by not harming them with words or actions; and giving them is by spending from one’s money, knowledge, good treatment, a cheerful face, and the like.
1) The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was praised as possessing the character of the Qur’an, assuming its manners and observing its commands and prohibitions. Hence, Allah Almighty describes him saying: {And indeed you are of a great moral character.}
2) Restraining one’s anger and forgiving people are traits of the good-doers.
621/1 - Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was the best of people in terms of manners.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1) There is no good and noble manner except that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was the best example of it.
2) The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) is our role model. So, the believers should imitate his manners and character.
622/2 - Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “I have never touched plain or woven silk softer than the palm of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him); nor have I smelt a perfume more pleasant than the scent of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him). Verily, I have served the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) for ten years, and not once did he express his discontent with me, nor did he say about something I had done, ‘Why did you do it?’ nor about something I hadn’t done, ‘Why didn’t you do it?’” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1) Allah Almighty softened his Prophet’s hand and heart. He says: {So because (of) mercy from Allah you dealt gently with them}
2) It points out the Prophet’s refined manners in dealing with his servant and those whom he would often associate with. This is the attitude befitting a true believer.
3) Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) was keen to know and comply with the Prophet’s intent, as he served him for ten years, during which the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) did not express disapproval of his attitude. Had Anas done what deserved discipline, the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) would surely have disciplined him.
One of the lessons we can take from this Hadīth is that we need to refrain from inflicting a punishment for something that has passed, for this creates dissension and rancor and will not set right what has gone wrong. We should not tend to reproach and censure others, thus leaving them with feelings of unease. All this applies when it comes to worldly matters.
As regards religious matters, however, we should not overlook wrongdoing, and this falls under commanding what is right and forbidding what is wrong. This is a Shariah right, not a personal one.
623/3 - Al-Sa‘b ibn Jaththāmah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “I presented a wild donkey to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) as a gift, but he returned it to me. When he perceived signs of despair on my face, he said: ‘We have only returned it because we are in the state of Ihrām (ritual consecration).’” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
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1) It shows the Prophet’s good manners towards his Companions in the way he would comfort their hearts.
2) A person should comfort his brother’s heart if he did something unpleasant to him by explaining to him why he did it so.
624/4 - Al-Nawwās ibn Sam‘ān (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “I asked the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) about piety and sin, and he said: ‘Piety is good manners, and sin is what creates doubt within you and you do not like people to know about it.’” [Narrated by Muslim]
1) All piety lies in good manners towards Allah Almighty and towards people.
2) Anything that stirs doubts within a person’s heart is a sin that should be avoided.
625/5 - ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Ās (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was neither obscene nor vulgar, and he used to say: ‘Verily, among the best of you are those who have the best manners.’” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
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1) It shows the Prophet’s good character. He was the farthest of people from obscenity in his words and deeds. So, a Muslim should follow his example in this regard.
2) It urges us to assume good manners, which are the core of this religion and the area of competition between the believers. Whoever outruns others in this field is among the best and most complete in terms of faith.
626/6 - Abu al-Dardā’ (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Nothing is heavier on the believer’s scale on the Day of Judgment than good manners. Indeed, Allah Almighty dislikes the shameless obscene person.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
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1) Good manners are among the greatest acts of piety which the believer will find on his scale and records of deeds on the Day of Judgment.
2) The believer should keep away from anything displeasing to his Lord, including obscenity and shamelessness.
627/7 - Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was asked about the foremost things that lead people to Paradise, and he replied: ‘Piety and good manners.’ Then, he was asked about the foremost things that lead people into Hellfire, and he said: ‘The tongue and the private parts.’” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
1) It urges us to be pious; and piety is a universal term that comprises doing everything that Allah commanded and refraining from everything that He prohibited.
2) Good manners, along with piety, are the key to entering Paradise.
628/8 - He also reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The most perfect of the believers in terms of faith is the one who has the most excellent manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
1) Faith consists of branches, in which people are of varying degrees. The fortunate believer is the one who seeks to increase his faith.
2) A person should be most kind and loving to his family and should be the best companion and educator for them. Indeed, a person’s family are the most entitled to his good manners than others. So, begin with the nearest then the second nearest.
629/9 - ‘Ā’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported: I heard the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) say: “Verily, a believer attains by his good manners the rank of one who fasts and prays abundantly.” [Narrated by Abu Dāwūd]
1) Among the highest ranks is fasting during daytime and praying during the night. So, how could we be heedless of an act of worship that is equal to that?!
2) Good manners are a reason for multiplying rewards, so much so that a well-mannered person can reach the rank of someone who observes fast without missing a day and someone who performs voluntary night prayer without missing a night.
630/10 - Abu Umāmah al-Bāhili (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for the one who refrains from arguing even if he is right, and a house in the middle of Paradise for the one who refrains from lying even if he is joking, and a house in the highest part of Paradise for the one who has perfect manners.” [Narrated by Abu Dawūd, with an authentic Isnād]
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1) It encourages us to refrain from argument, for it leads to discord and dissension.
2) Lying in all its forms is prohibited, including during fun and jesting. This refutes the view that says there are white lies.
3) The highest ranks in the sight of Allah are attained by those who have good manners, for this attribute combines all virtues.
631/6 - Jābir (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Indeed, among the most beloved and nearest of you to me on the Day of Judgment are those of you who have the best manners, and, indeed, the most hated of you to me and farthest from me on the Day of Judgment are the talkative, the pompous, and the Mutafayhiqūn.” They asked: “O Messenger of Allah, we know the talkative and the pompous, but we do not know who the Mutafayhiqūn are.” He replied: “The arrogant.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; and he classified it as Hasan (sound)]
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Defining good manners, ‘Abdullāh ibn al-Mubārak (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “It is to put on a cheerful face, show kindness to others, and cause no harm.”
1) The good manners of a Muslim are among the reasons for him to win the Prophet’s love and being close to him on the Day of Judgment.
2) It warns us against talking too much for the purpose of boastfulness or to show our eloquence. These are traits disliked by the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him), along with the people who have them. They cause them to be away from him on the Day of Judgment.
3) It shows the Prophet’s compassion towards his Ummah, as he clarified to us what he liked so that we can do it and what he disliked so that we should avoid it.