قال الله تعالىٰ: {وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ} [النساء: 19] ، وقال تعالىٰ: {وَلَن تَسۡتَطِيعُوٓاْ أَن تَعۡدِلُواْ بَيۡنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَلَوۡ حَرَصۡتُمۡۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ ٱلۡمَيۡلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَٱلۡمُعَلَّقَةِۚ وَإِن تُصۡلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورٗا رَّحِيمٗا} [النساء: 129].
Allah Almighty says: {and treat them kindly} [Surat an-Nisā’: 19] Allah Almighty also says: {You will never be able to maintain absolute justice between your wives, no matter how keen you are. So do not completely incline to one leaving the other in suspense. If you do what is right and fear Allah, Allah is surely All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.} [Surat an-Nisā’: 129]
1) حثّ الأزواج علىٰ الرفق بالنساء ومعاشرتهن بالتي هي أحسن، وذلك بألاّ يطلب الزوج حقه كاملاً، لأنه لا يمكن أن تأتي به المرأة علىٰ وجه الكمال، كما أنه لا يمكن أن يعطي الحق الواجب عليه علىٰ وجه الكمال.
1) Husbands are urged to treat women gently and live with them in a way that is best; a husband should not seek to get his rights in full because fulfilling his rights in full by the wife is unachievable, just as it is not within his ability to fulfill her rights upon him perfectly.
2) المعاشرة الشرعية هي التي تكون بالمعروف، وهو ما تعارف عليه أوساط الناس في عرفهم.
2) The Shariah-enjoined treatment is that which conforms to custom, i.e. what is commonly known and accepted by average people.
1/273ــ وعن أبي هريرةَ رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْراً؛ فَإنَ المَرأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ، وَإنَّ أَعْوَجَ مَا في الضِّلَعِ أَعْلاهُ، فَإنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهُ كَسَرْتَهُ، وَإنْ تَرَكْتَهُ لَمْ يَزَل أَعْوَجَ، فَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ». متفقٌ عليه.
273/1- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Treat women kindly, for the woman was created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its uppermost part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it; and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so treat women kindly.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
وفي روايةٍ في (الصحيحينِ): «المَرأَةُ كَالضِّلَعِ؛ إنْ أَقَمْتَهَا كَسَرْتَهَا، وَإنِ اسْتَمْتَعْتَ بِهَا اسْتَمْتَعْتَ وَفِيهَا عوَجٌ».
Another narration by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim reads: “A woman is like a rib, if you attempt to straighten it, you will break it; and if you enjoy her company, you will do so while crookedness remains in her.”
وفي رواية لمسلمٍ: «إنَّ المَرأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ، لَنْ تَسْتَقِيمَ لَكَ عَلَىٰ طَرِيقَةٍ، فَإنْ اسْتَمْتَعْتَ بِهَا اسْـتَـمْـتَعْتَ بِـهَا وَفِيهَـا عَـوَجٌ، وَإنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهَا كَسَرْتَهَا، وَكَسْرُهَا طَلاقُهَا».
In a version narrated by Muslim: “The woman was created from a rib and she will never be straightened for you; so if you want to enjoy her company, you will do so while crookedness remains in her. If you attempt to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her.”
قولُهُ: «عَوَجٌ» هو بفتحِ العينِ والواوِ.
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استوصوا بالنساء: اقبلوا هذه الوصية التي أوصيكم بها.
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1) توجيهٌ من رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إلىٰ حسن معاشرة الرجل لأهله، فعلىٰ الزوج أن يأخذ منهن العفو وما تيسر.
1) An instruction from the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) for men to live with their wives in kindness. A husband should take what his wife offers willingly and easily.
2) إن كَرِهتَ من زوجتك خُلُقاً رضيتَ منها خلقاً آخر، فقابلْ هذا بهذا، مع الصبر والتوجيه، حتىٰ تستقيم الأمور.
2) If you dislike some of your wife’s manners, you surely like some other manners, so let the latter make up for the former, and keep on showing patience and giving advice until matters are set right.
3) سعي الشارع إلىٰ إبقاء المودة الزوجية وجلب كل ما يقويها، بالحث علىٰ العفو والصفح، ودوام النصح.
3) The Lawgiver (Allah Almighty) is careful to maintain marital affection and provide all that reinforces it, by encouraging pardon and forgiveness and constant giving of advice.
2/274ــ وعن عبد الله بن زَمْعَةَ رضي الله عنه أنه سَمعَ النَّبيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَخْطُبُ، وَذَكَرَ النَّاقَةَ وَالَذِي عَقَرَهَا، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «{إِذِ ٱنۢبَعَثَ أَشۡقَىٰهَا} انْبَعَثَ لَها رَجُلٌ عَزِيزٌ، عَارِمٌ منيَعٌ في رَهطه» ثُمَّ ذَكَرَ النِّسَاءَ، فَوَعَظَ فِيهِنَّ، فَقَالَ: «يَعْمِد أَحَدُكُمْ فَيَجْلِدُ امْرَأَتَهُ جَلْدَ الْعَبْدِ، فَلَعَلَّهُ يُضَاجِعُهَا من آخِرِ يَوْمِهِ»، ثُمَّ وَعَظَهُمْ في ضَحِكِهِمْ مِنَ الضَّرْطَةِ، وقال: «لِمَ يَضْحَكُ أَحَدُكُـمْ مِمَّا يَفْعَـلُ؟». متفقٌ عليه.
274/2- ‘Abdullah ibn Zam‘ah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he heard the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) delivering a speech where he mentioned the she-camel (of Prophet Sālih) and the one who slaughtered it wrongfully. He (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “{When the most wretched among them rose [to kill the camel].} A wicked man of authority and power within his people rose to kill it.” Then he mentioned women, and said as he offered them admonition concerning them: “Some of you would whip your wife as if she were a slave and then he might have intercourse with her at the end of the day.” Then he gave them admonition regarding their laughter at farting, saying: “Why should one of you laugh at what he does?” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
«وَالْعَارِمُ» بالعين المهملةِ والراءِ: هُوَ الشِّرِّيرُ المُفْسِد، وقولُهُ: «انْبَعَثَ»، أَيْ: قَامَ بسُرعَةٍ.
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جلد العبد: يعني يجلدها كأنها عبد أسير.
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يضاجعها: يجامعها.
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1) السعادة الأسرية بين الرجل وأهله مبنية علىٰ المحبة والألفة.
1) Marital happiness is based upon love and affection.
2) إن الشريعة وإن أباحت ضرب الرجل لزوجته، فإنما هو ضرب تأديب وموعظة، لا ضرب عقوبة ومهانة.
2) Although the Shariah permits a man to beat his wife, such beating is meant only for discipline and admonition, not for punishment and humiliation.
خُطَبُ الرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام علىٰ نوعين: خطب دائمة، وخطب عارضة.
The sermons of the Messengers of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) were of two types: regular sermons and occasional sermons.
ــ فالخطب الدائمة: كخطب يوم الجمعة والعيدين والاستسقاء والكسوف وما أشبه ذلك.
Regular sermons are like the sermons delivered on Friday, the two days of ‘Eid, Istisqā’ (prayer offered to invoke Allah for rain at the time of drought), Kusoof (prayer offered when there is an eclipse) and the like.
ــ والخطب العارضة: هي التي يكون لها سبب طارئ، فيقوم النَّبيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فيخطب الناس ويعظهم ويبين لهم.
Occasional sermons are those offered when an occasion arises that warrants delivering a sermon, so the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) would get up and deliver a sermon to people in order to instruct them and give them guidance on the situation.
3/275 ــ وعن أبي هريرةَ رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «لا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً؛ إنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقاً رَضيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ» أَوْ قَالَ: «غَيْرَهُ». رواه مسلم.
275/3- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” [Narrated by Muslim]
وقولُهُ: (يَفْرَك) هو بفتحِ الياءِ وإسكانِ الفاءِ وفتحِ الراءِ، معناه: يُبْغِضُ، يقالُ: فَرِكَتِ المَرْأَةُ زَوْجَهَا، وَفَرِكَهَا زَوْجُهَا، بكسر الراءِ، يَفْرَكُهَا بفتحِها، أَيْ: أَبْغَضَهَا، والله أعلم.
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1) علىٰ العبد أن يكون حاكماً بالعدل وبالقسط؛ فإن أساءت إليك زوجتك فلا تنظر إلىٰ الإساءة في الوقت الحاضر، ولكن انظر إلىٰ الماضي بما فيه من العشرة الطيبة، فهذا يحمل الزوج علىٰ الصفح والعفو.
1) One has to adopt justice and fairness, so when your wife offends you, do not focus on the current offense, but recall the past with its kind company, as this urges the husband to pardon and forgive.
2) إن الشريعة دعت إلىٰ العدل، والعدل في الحياة الزوجية أن يُوازَن بين السيئات والحسنات، وينظر أيُّهما أعظم وقعاً، فيُغَلّب ما كان أكثر وأشد تأثيراً.
2) The Shariah calls for justice, and to observe justice in the marital life one has to weigh good and bad behaviors and see which of them has more impact on their life, then let him base his judgment according to it.
3) ما ذكره النَّبيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم في التعامل مع المرأة يكون مع غيرها أيضاً، ممن يكون بينك وبينه معاملة أو صداقة أو ما أشبه ذلك.
3) The guidelines the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) set for dealing with women should also be followed in dealing with others, like friends and the like.
4/276 ــ وعن عَمْرِو بن الأحْوَصِ الجُشَمِيِّ رضي الله عنه أنَّهُ سَمعَ النَّبيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم في حَجَّةِ الْوَدَاعِ يَقولُ بَعْدَ أنْ حَمِد الله تعالىٰ وَأَثْنَىٰ عَلَيْهِ، وَذَكَّرَ وَوَعَظَ، ثُمَّ قال: «أَلا وَاسْتَوْصُوا بالنِّسَاءِ خَيْراً، فَإنَّمَا هُنَّ عَوَانٍ عِنْدَكُمْ، لَيْسَ تَمْلِكُونَ مِنْهُنَّ شَيْئاً غَيْرَ ذلِكَ إلَّا أَنْ يَأتِينَ بِفَاحِشةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ، فإن فَعَلْنَ فَاهجُرُوهُنَّ في المَضَاجِعِ، وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْباً غَيْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ، فإنْ أَطَعْنكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبيلاً؟ أَلا إنَّ لَكُمْ عَلَىٰ نِسَائِكُمْ حَقّاً، وَلِنِسَائِكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقّاً ؟ فَحَقُّكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ أَلا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ مَنْ تكْرَهُونَ، وَلا يَأْذَنَّ في بُيُوتِكُمْ لِمَنْ تكْرَهُونَ، أَلا وَحَقهُّنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنْ تُحسِنُوا إلَيْهنَّ فِي كِسْوَتِهِنَّ وَطَعَامِهِنَّ». رواه الترمذي وقال: حديث حسن صحيحٌ.
276/4- ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he heard the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) say in the Farewell Hajj, after he praised Allah Almighty and extolled Him, and gave reminder and admonition to the people: “Treat women kindly, for they are like captives with you; you have no right to treat them otherwise. If they are guilty of manifest immorality, then do not share their beds and beat them lightly. If they return to obedience, then do not take further action against them. You have rights over your wives and they have rights over you. Your right is that they do not permit anyone you dislike to sit on your bedding or enter your home, and their right is that you treat them well with regard to their food and clothing.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
قوله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «عَوَان» أَيْ: أسِيرَات، جَمْعُ عَانِيَةٍ، بِالْعَيْنِ المُهْمَلَةِ، وَهِيَ الأَسِيرَةُ، وَالْعَانِي: الأسِيرُ.
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شَبَّهَ رسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم المَرأَةَ في دُخُولها تَحْتَ حُكْم الزَّوْجِ بالأسِيرِ، «وَالضَّرْبُ المُبَرحُّ»: هُوَ الشَّاقُّ الشَّدِيدُ، وقوله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبيلاً» أَيْ: لا تَطْلُبُوا طَريقاً تَحْتَجُّونَ بِهِ عَلَيْهِنَّ وَتُؤْذُونَهُنَّ بِهِ، والله أعلم.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) likened the situation of a woman being under the authority of her husband to the situation of a captive. Do not have recourse to anything else against them: i.e. do not seek a way to argue against them and hurt them thereby, and Allah knows best.
الفاحشة: هنا عصيان الزوجة لزوجها، بدليل قوله تعالىٰ بعد ذلك: {فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّٗا كَبِيرٗا}.
Indecency here refers to the wife’s disobedience to her husband as evidenced by the statement of Allah Almighty mentioned thereafter: {Then if they obey you, do not take further action against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, All-Great.}
ألا يوطئن فرشكم من تكرهون: ألاّ يُكرمْن أحداً تكرهونه.
They do not permit anyone you dislike to sit on your bedding: they do not host or give hospitality to someone you hate.
1) علىٰ المرأة ألا تدخل أحداً فراش النوم، وزوجها كاره لذلك، ولا تكرم أحداً يكرهه، ولا تأذن في بيتها لمن يكره، وهذا كله من حقّ الزوج علىٰ زوجته.
1) A woman should not allow anyone to enter her bedroom if her husband dislikes that, nor should she show hospitality to those whom he dislikes, nor receive in her house those whom he dislikes. All these are from the rights her husband has over her.
2) الزوج هو الذي ينفق علىٰ زوجته وإن كانت غنية؛ لأن للزوج حق القوامة بما ينفق مما رزقه الله تعالىٰ.
2) A husband should provide for his wife even if she is rich, because he is granted the right of being in charge of her in return for spending on her from what Allah Almighty has provided him with.
مراتب تأديب المرأة ذكرها الله تعالىٰ بقوله: {وَٱلَّٰتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِي ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّ} فهي ثلاث مراتب:
The levels of disciplining the wife are mentioned in the verse where Allah Almighty says: {As for those women on whose part you fear rebellion, [first] admonish them, [next] forsake them in bed, and [last] hit them [gently]} Hence, they are three levels:
1) أن يعظها بالحسنى، فإن لم تتعظ انتقل إلىٰ المرتبة الثانية.
1) That he gives her advice in a good manner. If she does not respond to the advice, he moves to the second level.
2) أن يهجرها في المضجع، ولا يغادره، ويكون الهجر فيه بأن يوليها ظهره أو لا يكلِّمها، ومن فهم أن يغادر مكان النوم فقط فقد غلط في فهم المعنىٰ، فإن لم ينفع هذا الأسلوب انتقل إلىٰ الثالث.
2) That he forsakes her in bed, but he does not leave the bed. Forsaking means that he turns his back to her or does not talk to her. Those who understand that it means to just leave their sleeping place are wrong in their understanding. If this method does not work, he moves to the third level.
3) أن يضربها ضرباً غير مبرح إن هي استمرت علىٰ العصيان.
3) That he beats her lightly, without harming her, if she persists in her disobedience.
5/277 ــ وعن مُعَاويةَ بنِ حَيْدَةَ رضي الله عنه قال: قلت يا رسولَ الله ، ما حقُّ زَوْجَةِ أحَدِنَا عَلَيْهِ؟ قال: «أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إذَا طَعِمْتَ، وَتكْسُوَهَا إذَا اكْتَسيْتَ، وَلا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ، وَلا تُقَبِّحْ، وَلا تَهْجُرْ إلَّا في الْبَيْتِ» حديثٌ حسنٌ رواه أبو داود وقال: معنىٰ «لا تُقَبِّحْ» أي: لا تَقُلْ: قَبَّحَكِ الله.
277/5- Mu‘āwiyah ibn Haydah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he said to Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him): “O Messenger of Allah, what is the right the wife of one of us over him?” He said: “That you feed her when you feed yourself and clothe her when you clothe yourself, and you do not strike her on the face or revile her (by saying: ‘may Allah make your face ugly’), and you do not forsake her except inside the house.” [Hasan (sound) Hadīth narrated by Abu Dāwūd]
1) يجب علىٰ الزوج أن ينفق علىٰ زوجته كما يُنفق علىٰ نفسه، فالنفقة علىٰ الزوجة حق واجب علىٰ الزوج.
1) A husband is obligated to spend on his wife as he spends on himself. Providing for the wife is a due right of hers upon the husband.
2) الإذن بالضرب غير المبرح لايكون علىٰ الوجه؛ لأن الوجه أشرف ما في الإنسان، وقد نهىٰ الشارع عن ضرب الوجه.
2) The face is excluded from the permissible mild striking, because the face is the most honored part of the body. It is impermissible under the Shariah to strike the face.
3) النهي عن التقبيح الحسي، والمعنوي، مثل أن يعيّرها بعيب خَلقي فيها، أو يقول: أنت من عائلة سيئة، أو غير ذلك.
3) It is forbidden to offend the wife physically or morally, such as taunting her for a physical defect in her, or telling her that she comes from a bad family, and the like.
4) الهجر لايكون إلا في البيت، أي لاتهجرها علناً وتُظهر أنك هجرتها، بل الحكمة أن تكون حال الزوجين مستورة، حتىٰ إذا اصطلحا رجع كل شيء إلىٰ مايُرام، دون أن يطلع عليه أحد من الناس، وهذا هو حال الأُسر المُؤْمِنة الموفّقة.
04) Forsaking should be done at home only; he should not forsake her in public or make that noticed by people. Wisdom dictates that marital affairs should be concealed, so that when they reconcile with each other, everything goes back to normal without anyone knowing about the problem they had. Such is the state of the successful Muslim family.
6/278 ــ وعن أبي هريرةَ رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «أَكْمَلُ المُؤْمِنِينَ إيْمَاناً أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقاً، وَخِيَارُكُمْ خِيَارُكُمْ لِـنِسَائِهِمْ». رواه الترمذي وقال: حديثٌ حسنٌ صحيح.
278/6- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The most perfect believers in terms of faith are the ones who have the most excellent manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
1) الإيمان يتفاوت ويتفاضل، كما قال الله تعالىٰ: {وَيَزۡدَادَ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓاْ إِيمَٰنٗا}، وكلما عظم خُلُق العبد دل علىٰ قوة إيمانه.
1) Faith is of various degrees, as indicated in the verse where Allah Almighty says: {...and the believers may increase in faith} The more excellent one’s character is, the more it is indicative of the strength of his faith.
2) خير الناس هم خيارهم لأهلهم.
2) The best among people are those who are best in treating their families.
3) الأقربون هم أولىٰ بالمعروف؛ فإذا كان فيك خير فليكن أهلك هم أول المستفيدين من هذا النفع.
3) Relatives are the most deserving of favor. So, if one is to do good to others, then his family is the worthiest of receiving such good.
حسن الخلق يكون مع الله، ومع عباده، فحسن الخلق مع الله _عز وجل_، بأن يرضىٰ العبدُ بشريعة الله، وينقاد إليها مسلماً راضياً مطمئناً بها، وأن يرضىٰ بقدر الله _عز وجل_، وحُسن الخلق مع الناس؛ بكفّ الأذىٰ، وبذل الندى، والصبر علىٰ الأذى.
One should be well-mannered with Allah Almighty and with His slaves. To be well-mannered with Allah Almighty is realized by accepting His Shariah, fully and willingly submitting to it with reassurance, and to be pleased with the predestination of Allah Almighty. Being well-mannered with people is to refrain from harming them, but treat them with generosity and show patience in the face of harm received from them.
7/279 ــ وعن إياس بن عبد الله بن أبي ذُبابٍ رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسولُ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «لا تَضْرِبُوا إمَاء الله»، فَجَاء عُمَرُ رضي الله عنه إلىٰ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَقَالَ: ذَئِرْنَ النِّسَاءُ عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِنَّ، فَرَخَّصَ في ضَرْبِهِنَّ، فَأَطَافَ بِآلِ رسولِ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم نِسَاءٌ كَثِيرٌ يَشْكُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «لقَدْ أطَافَ بِآلِ بَيْتِ مُحَمَّدٍ نِسَاءٌ كَثِيرٌ يَشْكُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ، لَيْسَ أُولئِكَ بخِيَارِكُمْ». رواه أبو داود بإسنادٍ صحيح.
279/7- Iyās ibn ‘Abdullāh ibn Abi Dhubāb (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Do not beat women.” ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) later came to the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) and said: “The women have become very daring towards their husbands,” so he (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) gave permission to beat them. Many women went to the wives of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) complaining of their husbands. So, he (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Many women have gone round Muhammad’s families complaining about their husbands. Those (husbands) are not the best of you.” [Narrated by Abu Dāwūd with an authentic Isnād]
قوله: «ذَئِرنَ» هُوَ بذَال مُعْجَمَةٍ مَفْتُوحَةٍ ثُمَّ هَمْزَةٍ مَكسُورَةٍ ثُمَّ رَاء سَاكِنَةٍ ثُمَّ نُونٍ، أَيْ: اجْتَرَأنَ، قوله: «أَطَافَ» أَيْ: أحَاطَ.
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إماء الله: يريد بذلك النساء، فيُقال: أمة الله كما يُقال: عبد الله، ويُقال: إماء الله كما يُقال: عباد الله.
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1) علىٰ الإنسان ألا يتمادىٰ في ضرب أهله، فإن وُجد سببٌ يقتضي الضرب وإلا فلا يضرب، فيكون الضرب آخر العلاج.
1) One should not beat his wife excessively. If there is a reason that entails beating her, he may do so, otherwise, he should not. Beating should be the last resort.
2) من اعتاد ضرب أهل بيته دلّ علىٰ نقصان الخيرية فيه؛ لأن خيار الناس خيارهم لنسائهم.
2) Frequent beating of the wife is a sign of the lack of good in the husband because the best of people are those who are best to their wives.
8/280 ــ وعن عبد الله بن عمرو بن العاص رضي الله عنهما أَنَّ رسولَ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال «الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ، وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِهَا المَرْأَةُ الصّالِحَةُ». رواه مسلم.
280/8- ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Ās (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “This world is but an enjoyment, and the best of its enjoyments is a righteous woman.” [Narrated by Muslim]
متاع: شيء يتمتع به، كما يتمتع المسافر بزاده.
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1) إذا وُفِّق العبد لامرأة صالحة في دينها وعقلها، فهذا خير متاع الدنيا.
1) When a man is blessed with a wife whose religion and reason are sound, then this is the best of the worldly enjoyment.
2) المرأة الصالحة خير زاد يُبَلِّغ العبدَ إلىٰ آخرته.
2) A righteous woman is the best provision that helps one have a safe journey to the Hereafter.
لما أراد الله تعالىٰ أن يمتنَّ علىٰ عبده زكريا عليه الصلاة والسلام قال: {وَأَصۡلَحۡنَا لَهُۥ زَوۡجَهُ} فمِن فقه العبد أن يسعىٰ في أسباب صلاح زوجته؛ لأن ذلك يصلح البيت كله. ويتحقق ذلك بأمور، منها:
When Allah Almighty mentioned the blessings he bestowed upon His slave Zakariyya (Zachariah, peace be upon him), He said: {and We amended for him his wife} So, it is an indication of the slave’s good understanding of the religion that he seeks to reform his wife because reforming her is a reform to the whole family. This can be achieved by some matters including the following:
1 ــ أن يستقيم هو علىٰ طاعة الله تعالىٰ، فصلاح الزوج سبب لصلاح الزوجة.
1- That he himself adheres to obedience to Allah Almighty, for the husband’s righteousness is a reason for the wife’s righteousness.
قال صلى الله عليه وسلم: «أقيموا الصلاة، وآتوا الزكاة، وحجوا واعتمروا، واستقيموا يستقم بكم». رواه الطبراني في (المعاجم الثلاثة) عن سمرة.
The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Establish the prayer, give charity, perform Hajj and ‘Umrah, and be upright so that others would be upright by following your way.” [Narrated by Al-Tabarāni in his three Mu‘jams on the authority of Samurah]
2 ــ أن يعلِّمها ويربيها في ظلال العبودية لله تعالىٰ. {مَنۡ عَمِلَ صَٰلِحٗا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوۡ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤۡمِنٞ فَلَنُحۡيِيَنَّهُۥ حَيَوٰةٗ طَيِّبَةٗۖ} [النحل: 97].
2- That he educates her within an environment of servitude to Allah Almighty: {Whoever does righteous deeds, male or female, while being a believer, We will surely grant him a good life} [Surat al-Nahl: 97]
3 ــ أن يديم الدعاء بأن يصلح الله زوجه. {وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٖ} [الفرقان: 74].
3- That he constantly asks Allah Almighty to mend his wife: {and those who say, “Our Lord, let our spouses and children be a source of joy for us} [Surat al-Furqān: 74]
4 ــ أن يصبر علىٰ سوء الخلق العارض من الزوجة {فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡٔٗا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرٗا كَثِيرٗا} [النساء: 19].
4- That he remains patient before temporary bad manners that his wife might show: {it may be that you dislike something which Allah has put much good in it.} [Surat an-Nisā’: 19]
5 ــ أن يطيب مكسبه، ويتحرىٰ الحلال، فهو سبب للبركة والصلاح، والتوفيق والفلاح. {يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلرُّسُلُ كُلُواْ مِنَ ٱلطَّيِّبَٰتِ وَٱعۡمَلُواْ صَٰلِحًاۖ} [المؤمنون: 51].
5- That he ensures that his earnings are lawful, for it is the means to blessings, goodness, success, and prosperity: {O messengers, eat from the lawful things and act righteously} [Sūrat al-Mu’minūn: 51]