Allah Almighty says: {Men are in charge of women, as Allah has made some of them excel the others, and because they spend of their wealth. Therefore the righteous women are obedient, and protect what Allah has entrusted them with in [their husband’s] absence} [Surat an-Nisā’: 34]
1) Men are in charge of women because of what Allah Almighty has assigned to them of special tasks, one of which is that the man is responsible for providing for the woman.
2) A woman’s honor lies in staying at her home, whereby she keeps her husband’s secrets, guards in his absence what Allah Almighty ordered her to guard, and devotes herself to worshiping her Lord and obeying her husband.
they include the Hadīth of ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas mentioned in the previous chapter.
281/1- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses, and so he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
In another narration by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim: “If a woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bed, the angels curse her until the morning.”
In another version, the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, when a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the One Who is in the heaven becomes displeased with her until he (her husband) becomes pleased with her.”
The angels curse her: they invoke Allah that she be cursed, meaning that she be expelled and excluded from Allah’s mercy.
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1) The Hadīth provides explicit proof of the view held by Ahl-us-Sunnah wa al-Jamā‘ah that Allah Almighty is in the heaven, established upon His Throne which is above the seven heavens. This is supported by texts of the Shariah as well as scholarly consensus.
2) The Hadīth highlights the great right a husband has over his wife; a right that is further emphasized when the husband is properly observing the rights of his wife.
3) A stern warning for the woman against incurring the displeasure of Allah Almighty and the curse of the angels if she refuses to accept her husband’s invitation to bed with the purpose of disobedience and rebellion that lack a Shariah-approved reason.
282/2- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) also reported that Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is present without his permission, nor to admit anyone into his house without his permission.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim; this is the wording narrated by Al-Bukhāri]
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1) When the husband is absent, it is permissible for the wife to fast as she wishes.
2) A husband should manage his household affairs according to what is commonly acceptable; he may ban those whose presence in his house might be a source of harm.
Is the ruling concerning voluntary prayers the same as that of voluntary fasting, in terms of the necessity of the husband’s permission?
Scholars said that voluntary prayers is different form fasting because the time during which the prayer is offered is short, unlike fasting that consumes the whole daytime. So, the wife may offer voluntary prayers when her husband is present, unless he prevents her. However, a husband should not deprive his wife of doing what is good, instead, he should urge her to do it.
Permission for admitting others into one’s house is of two kinds:
- Conventional permission: that is common among people and compliant with their traditions, like the case of female neighbors and relatives and the like entering the house.
- Verbal permission: when the husband says to his wife that she may admit whoever she wishes into the house except those whose presence might incur harm. Here the matter is dependent upon his permission.
283/3- Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and his children; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
A guardian is the caretaker who guards the interests of his wards and makes them accessible to them, and spots the evils and wards them off.
1) The speech is addressed to all the Muslim Ummah. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) explains in it the categories of responsibility that should be discharged in order to realize interests.
2) The responsibility of guardians vary between large expansive responsibilities and small limited ones.
3) A husband has a great right over his wife that she is obligated to fulfill.
284/4- Abu ‘Ali Talq ibn ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If a man calls his wife to fulfill his need, she should come to him even if she is busy at the oven.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi and Al-Nasā’i; Al-Tirmidhi classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
285/5- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered the wife to prostrate herself before her husband.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan Sahīh (sound and authentic)]
To fulfill his need: this may refer to any need in general or to the man’s need to fulfill his sexual lust for his wife.
Oven (Ar. Tannūr): the place where baking is done.
1) The Hadīth lays great emphasis on the obligation for a woman to obey her husband even in the hardest circumstances.
2) The Shariah blocked the way before men from being tempted by other women, so it made the wife lawful to her husband and urged her to obey him.
3) The husband’s right over his wife is a great one, and the wife is encouraged to obey her husband according to what is acceptable.
286/6- Um Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan (sound)] [2]
1) Obeying the husband is a reason for entering Paradise.
2) The Shariah honors the woman by assigning to her a deed that would earn her Paradise if she were patient and obeyed her husband according to what is acceptable.
3) If a husband dies while he is displeased with his wife, she is in grave danger and threatened with punishment.
287/7- Mu‘ādh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whenever a woman harms her husband in this world, his wife from the Houris of Paradise says: Do not harm him! May Allah destroy you! He is but a passing guest with you, and he will soon leave you to join us.” [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi; he classified it as Hasan (sound)]
1) The Houris rebuke the woman who abuses her husband in the worldly life, which indicates the gravity of disobedience.
2) The spouses are urged to maintain good companionship, because the worldly life is but a passage to the Hereafter, not an abode of eternal residence.
288/8/ - Usāmah ibn Zayd (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “I am not leaving a trial behind me that is more harmful to men than women.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1) The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) informed about this trial in order to warn men against being tempted by women.
2) All the ways that lead to falling into temptation by women are to be blocked. The prohibition of intermixing between the two sexes is an example of that.
Allah Almighty says: {The love of desirable things has been made appealing to people, such as women, children, hoarded heaps of gold and silver, branded fine horses, livestock, and tilled land} [Surat Āl ‘Imrān: 14] All of these things were made appealing to people in this world and have become a source of temptation to them. However, the most severe temptation is that of women, and that is the reason why Allah Almighty mentions them first in that context, as He says: {The love of desirable things has been made appealing to people, such as women... }
- Some men misunderstand these Hadīths and therefore tyrannize their wives and abuse them. They fail to realize that the Hadīths are not meant for allowing them to treat their wives unjustly and wrongfully, but rather that they must be fair and just, return the kind treatment with its like, and fulfill the rights due upon them {Women have rights similar to the rights over them in a reasonable manner, although men have a higher degree [of responsibility] over them} [Surat al-Baqarah: 228] A wise husband builds his relationship with his wife on a basis of affection and mercy, and forgiveness and giving advice so that he would attain success and goodness. He should take the prophetic household as a role model in this regard and assume the manners of the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) with his wives and family members; and Allah is the One who grants success.