Wailing is prohibited. We will tackle it in a chapter of the Book of Prohibitions, Allah willing. As for weeping over the dead, there are many Hadīths that prohibit that and inform that the dead person suffers as a result of his family weeping over him. This is in case if the dead person had asked his family to do so. The prohibited weeping is the one that involves wailing and lamenting (crying out the merits of the deceased while), which is evidenced by many Hadīths, such as the following:
Meratapi orang yang wafat hukumnya haram sebagaimana akan disebutkan dalam satu bab yang membahas hal ini dalam Kitab Larangan, insya Allah. Adapun tentang menangisinya, terdapat banyak hadis yang melarang hal itu, bahwa orang yang wafat akan disiksa dengan tangis keluarganya. Tetapi, makna lahiriah hadis-hadis tersebut harus ditakwil dan dibawa pada kondisi bila orang yang wafat tersebut mewasiatkan agar ditangisi. Adapun larangan menangis, maka hanyalah terhadap tangis yang mengandung ratapan. Dalil yang menunjukkan bolehnya menangisi orang yang wafat tanpa meratapinya ialah hadis-hadis yang banyak sekali, di antaranya:
925/1 - Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) visited Sa‘d ibn ‘Ubādah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahmān ibn ‘Awf, Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqās, and ‘Abdullāh ibn Mas‘ūd. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) began to weep, and when his Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He said: “Will you listen? Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but He punishes or bestows mercy because of this,” pointing to his tongue. [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
1/925- Ibnu Umar -raḍiyallāhu 'anhumā- meriwayatkan bahwasanya Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- datang membesuk Sa'ad bin 'Ubādah bersama Abdurrahman bin 'Auf, Sa'ad bin Abi Waqqās, dan Abdullah bin Mas'ūd -raḍiyallāhu 'anhum-. Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- kemudian menangis, dan ketika mereka melihat tangis Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam-, mereka pun ikut menangis. Kemudian beliau bersabda, "Tidakkah kalian mendengar? Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan memberikan siksa disebabkan air mata maupun kesedihan hati. Tetapi Allah akan memberikan siksa atau mengasihi dengan sebab ini." Beliau menunjuk ke lisannya. (Muttafaq 'Alaih)
1) It is permissible to weep over the dead, provided it involves no wailing.
1) Boleh menangisi orang yang wafat dengan syarat tidak disertai nadb (menyebut-nyebut kebaikannya) dan niyāḥah (ratapan).
2) A person’s feeling of mercy, softness of heart, and shedding tears when afflicted with calamity is something he is not to blame for.
2) Sesungguhnya perasaan iba, kelembutan hati, dan tetesan air mata seseorang ketika terjadi musibah tidak menyebabkan dia dicela.
3) It warns us of the danger of the tongue, as it is a means leading to earning Allah’s pleasure or wrath.
3) Mewaspadai bahaya lisan, karena lisan bisa menjadi sebab untuk meraih rida Allah -Ta'ālā- atau murka-Nya.
‘Nadb’ and ‘Niyāhah’ are prohibited.
Nadb dan niyāḥah hukumnya haram.
‘Nadb’ means crying out the good traits of the deceased, by way of expressing discontent with Allah’s decree.
Nadb ialah Anda menghitung-hitung kebaikan orang yang telah meninggal sebagai wujud rasa marah dan kesal terhadap takdir Allah.
‘Niyāhah’ means wailing with long loud shrieks. The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) disassociated himself from the woman who does ‘Niyāhah’ over the dead.
Sedangkan niyāḥah (ratapan) adalah tangisan yang disertai raungan dan memanjangkan suara; Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- sendiri telah berlepas diri dari wanita yang meratap.
926/2 - Usāmah ibn Zayd (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) reported that the son of the Prophet’s daughter was raised to him while dying, so his eyes flowed with tears. Thereupon, Sa‘d to him: “What is this, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “This is mercy that Allah placed in the hearts of His slaves. Surely, Allah shows mercy to those of His slaves who are merciful.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhāri and Muslim]
2/926- Usāmah bin Zaid -raḍiyallāhu 'anhumā- meriwayatkan bahwasanya Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- diberikan putra anak perempuannya ketika menjelang kematiannya, lalu kedua mata Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- berlinang air mata. Sa'ad berkata, "Tangisan apa ini, wahai Rasulullah?! Beliau menjawab, "Ini adalah kasih sayang yang Allah -Ta'ālā- masukkan dalam hati hamba-hamba-Nya, dan Allah hanya mengasihi hamba-hamba-Nya yang pengasih." (Muttafaq 'Alaih)
1) Allah Almighty gives His servants recompense of the same nature of their actions. “Indeed, Allah shows mercy to those of His servants who are merciful.”
1) Balasan dari Allah -Ta'ālā- setimpal dengan jenis perbuatan hamba; "Sesungguhnya Allah hanya mengasihi hamba-hamba-Nya yang pengasih."
2) The more merciful a person is, the nearer he is to the mercy of his Lord.
2) Semakin tinggi kasih sayang seseorang kepada hamba-hamba Allah maka dia semakin dekat kepada rahmat Allah.
3) We are urged to purify ourselves and train our souls to show mercy to those who deserve it.
3) Anjuran untuk menyucikan hati dan membiasakannya untuk mengasihi orang-orang yang pantas dikasihi.
927/3 - Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) entered upon his son Ibrāhīm while he was breathing his last. The Prophet’s eyes began to shed tears. ‘Abdur-Rahmān ibn ‘Awf said to him: “And you too, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “O Ibn ‘Awf, this is mercy.” Then, he followed it by saying: “Indeed, the eye tears up and the heart is grieved, and we do not say except what pleases our Lord. And indeed, over your departure, O Ibrāhīm, we are grieved.”
3/927- Anas -raḍiyallāhu 'anhu- meriwayatkan bahwa Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- datang menemui putranya, Ibrahim -raḍiyallāhu 'anhu- saat dia sedang sekarat, lantas kedua mata Rasulullah -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- bercucuran air mata. Abdurrahman bin 'Auf berkata pada beliau, "Engkau (menangis), wahai Rasulullah?!" Maka beliau bersabda, "Wahai Ibnu 'Auf! Ini adalah tangisan kasih sayang." Kemudian beliau melanjutkan ucapannya, "Sesungguhnya mata ini menangis dan hati merasa sedih, tetapi kami tidak mengucapkan kecuali yang membuat Tuhan kami rida. Sungguh, kami benar-benar bersedih dengan sebab kepergianmu, wahai Ibrahim."
[Narrated by Al-Bukhāri; partially narrated by Muslim]
(HR. Bukhari, dan sebagiannya diriwayatkan juga oleh Muslim)
There are many well-known authentic Hadīths in this area, and Allah knows best.
Hadis-hadis dalam masalah ini sangat banyak dalam Aṣ-Ṣaḥīḥ dan juga populer. Wallāhu a'lam.
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يجُودُ بنفسِهِ: sekarat melawan kematian.
1) It is permissible for a person to say that he is sad over a certain affliction.
1) Seseorang boleh mengabarkan kesedihan yang ada dalam hatinya ketika mengalami musibah.
2) The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him), the noblest human being in the sight of Allah, would go through what human beings go through, like sadness and illness.
2) Nabi Muhammad -ṣallallāhu 'alaihi wa sallam- yang merupakan makhluk paling mulia di sisi Allah turut mengalami apa dialami oleh manusia; beliau ditimpa musibah, merasa sedih, dan merasakan sakit.
3) Even if a person enjoys great status in the sight of his Lord, death is still not averted from him, for this is the decree of Allah, and it will surely come to pass.
3) Seorang hamba walaupun memiliki kedudukan yang besar di sisi Allah, maka kematian tidak terhindarkan darinya, karena ketetapan Allah pasti terlaksana dan keputusan-Nya telah berlalu.